Modern Torture

Yes, another post about the gym... I left my SD card at work, along with all my recent photos. I just have photos from my iPhone tonight. Not pretty.

In case you're wondering, I'm a bit obsessive. I need to have something to be obsessed about. At various times in my life its been scuba diving, flying, jet skiing, middle east history, guitar, motocross, etc. The problem is, I also have a short attention span, so I've never gotten particularly good at anything.

The one thing that has kind of stuck for the longest period of time is the gym. Not the gym, per se, but body building. Its been a couple decades, off and on, mostly on for a few years now I think. Now I'm hitting it more than ever - because its all I have in my life at the moment thats my own thing. No toys, no expensive fun. We're in this get out of debt mode, so we're not really spending money right now. Just paying down bills. So now, I just sweat for fun. Its how I amuse myself, how I push myself, how I see how far I can go.

I used to run. I trained to varying degrees for, and ran 3 marathons. I don't like looking like a marathoner. Have you seen those guys that win? Not interested. I must still be suffering from little-guy-in-high-school syndrome. I want to look fantastic. Oh, I know, I look fine. I'm not fat. I'm not skinny. I look fine. That doesn't interest me either.

What do I want, ultimate fantasy? I wanna weigh like 220 at 6% body fat - nothing but a thin layer of skin over my abs. I also wanna bench 405. I want to see how disciplined and consistent I can be with eating and working out. I need to know what my genetic potential is. Numbers motivate me. Just like they did in running.

So where am I now? Well, I WAS trying to just get big - and big I got, as seen in a prior post. However since I ultimately want to be super lean, I've learned I've gotta get lean first, then slowly get big. Two months ago I weighed 196-198. Back in April I benched 315 for the first time ever. Currently, I lifting about an hour a day, and doing interval training on machines such as this, for an hour a day, 6 days a week. I get up at 4:50 a.m. and go to the gym with Nate. I'm down to about 188, and the amounts I can lift are suffering. The only improvement of late is in pull ups - as I get lighter I can do more.

At the moment, I'm frustrated. Working out like a mad man, and look about the same... I guess its the journey that matters.

I promise future posts won't be this superficial... OK, maybe some of them will.

I must sleep. Chest day tomorrow. Even Nate gets excited about chest day! I love the time I get to spend with him in the morning and I'm so glad he's got the discipline to get up so early. Nate just got his license, so I figured he'd drive himself to the gym when he's at his mom's. However, he told me he really enjoys the time in the car with me. That brings me joy. A drive worth making.

This machine makes me sweat, and hurt. I burn 750-1000 calories per hour on the likes of this: